Selling May No Longer Be Saleable

Good day!
Blogging ulit ako. Wala namang masyadong ginagawa dito sa office. Or magaling lang talaga akong magpanggap na busy – sobrang convincing.

Grabe ang antok ko. 3.30 am ako gumising today dahil galling pa ako sa Indang, Cavite. 3 hours ang travel from there to Makati. Reunion kasi naming kahapon kaya hindi ako nakabalik sa Manila yesterday. Sobrang saya ng reunion. Sobrang jolog at baduy kasi. Lasing lahat ng tao! Babae/Lalake/Bata(legal age)/Matanda lasing! Pinapakita lang nito na lasenggo talaga ang lahi namin. Sobrang tawa ako ng tawa kahapon pag nakikita ko silang mga lasing. Lugi sila sa akin, hindi na kasi ako masyado uminom kahapon dahil galing pa ako sa inuman nung Saturday ng gabi. Masama pa ang pakiramdam ko kahapon.

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Creative ba yang separator ko? Hehe. Nakita ko lang yan sa notebook ng isang boss ditto. Na-inspire ako kasi ang organize pa rin ng notes nya. Parang student pa rin. Sa mga ganitong panahon talaga ako nakakaramdam ng low self-esteem. Naiinggit ako sa kanila. Ang sisipag kasi nila eh. Seryoso pa sa work. Eh ako? Haha. Sweldo lang yata at rank ang habol ko dito.

Maganda yung realization ko kagabi while I was busy tutoring my sister on the concept of the time value of money. Imagine naalala ko pa yun, galing ko talaga. Hahaha! Nahirapan ako kung paano ko ituturo sa kanya yung concept so gumamit ako ng mga pang layman lang na terms. Sana naintindihan nya naman. Hindi kasi kami pareho ng wavelength ng kapatid ko. Pero anyway, may narealize nga ako sa tutor session namin kahapon – gusto ko ng nag-iisip. Nasarapan ako sa thought na nag-iisip ako, na idealistic ako, naglalaro ang utak ko sa numbers, concepts, strategies, etc.

Na-miss ko mag-isip ng malalim, maging critical, at mag-aral. Sa ngayon kasi, ang tamad tamad ko nang mag-isip. Nakakainis. Parang nakakabobo ang trabaho ko. Kahit kasi pa-travel travel ako, meeting a diverse group of people, and maraming exposures, may pagka-repetitive at monotonous ang work ko. Paulit-ulit lang ang sinasabi ko, ang binebenta ko, yun at yun lang din. Nakakatamad. Pero alam kong masamang ugali ang katamaran kong ito. Dapat kasi ako mismo ang nag-iisip at gumagawa ng paraan kung paano ko mapapasaya ang araw ko sa pagbebenta at kung paano ko mai-aangat ang sarili ko sa kanilang lahat. Gustong gusto ko ma-promote agad pero parang hindi ko naman maramdaman na nagsa-shine ako. Parang ang bilis ko kasi nagsawa dito sa trabaho ko. Wala kasing masyadong isip factor, tapos puro daldal. Pero yung sa daldal part, gusto ko naman yun. Kaso yun nga lang, hindi nae-exercise and brain muscles ko. Hindi kagaya dati, nung college pa ako, kung tatanungin mo ako ng magandang marketing strategy o kaya promotion, ang bilis ko makaka-isip. Ngayon naman, grabe, kung hindi wala akong maisip, ang pangit at ang daming flaws ng naiisip ko.

Anong nangyayari sa akin? Gusto ko na ulit mag-isip! Gusto ko maging product/brand manager. O kaya branch manager – pero sales din to eh. Gusto ko kasi yung tipong nag-iisip how I can help grow the enterprise. I want to see the whole picture – how my actions will affect the enterprise, how my decisions can improve profitability. Sa sales, walang ganun eh. Kung meron man, hindi ko alam kung paano i-aapply. Ikaw, alam mo ba? Turuan mo nga ako.

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Ayos na to. At least may post na ulit ako. May dagdag na akong mababasa during my idle time. Ang bagal kasi magupdate ng blog na mga finofollow ko eh.

I feel...

Bored.

First time ever to feel bored while in front of the computer and whole world wide web. I seem not to have anything to do, but of course in reality, i have so much in store to do. I just dont like doing them. Just like a 6-year old brat, i am now throwing my tantrums.

Fat.

I can now feel the lines around my waist and tummy. These lines that never really came into place for the longest time. Or should i say, since 3rd year college. Indeed, each day is my fattest day.

Happy.

Yeah men. Even the most emo post can tell you the writer's happy. Happy because... i can now laugh truly, madly, deeply. Happy that i can now feel that adjustments are now coming into place.

Bobo.

Because i can not think the way i am thinking before. I now can not pretend to be profound.

Sleep deprived.
Alcohol running trhough my veins.

These perhaps are the reasons why.

Am sad. I need ... (thinking for the right word for ahh 5mins) meditation (yeah that's the word) in a far flung place.

Pursuit of Happiness

I am not sure why, but I feel that my life resembles that of Chris Gardner - only that his was worse, and that I am younger.



Instead of doing my take home midterm exam in Global Marketing, here i am, blogging.

Let me sleep
For when i sleep
I think of nothing

Aargh

Last year in college is definitely the most excruciating. Not because of requirements but because of the tendency of losing someone's drive to strive harder. Harder.

I should only be cherishing all these remaining days. Not bothering about the life after graduation, academic requirements, organization tasks, and the like. I should be enjoying my last semester as a student.

But no. I feel so stressed. For a reason I, myself, don't know.

Aargh.

If only i could spend all my time drinking with my friends (oh yes. spur of the moment drinking sessions). Such things like, "Tara! Inom!" (C'mon, let's drink) even if we still have class in the next few hours.

Sarap mag-inom sa Sarah's kapag PI 100 ang next class! (It's great drinking at Sarah's if PI 100* is your next class)

*PI 100 - Philippine Institutions 100, Life and Works of Jose Rizal (Champion!)

Haha. Pinilit mag post in English.

Spice of Your Life

Watch this. Promise, panalo. Oh, only for the green-minded ones.



Just so you know, i named this post such dahil pakiramdam ko, sobrang boring na ng buhay ko. Wala ng spice. Gigising sa umaga. Papasok. Makikinig ng konti. Tapos makikipagkwentuhan 90% of the time. Sasakay ng jeep. Uuwi. Magpupuyat. Mag susubmit ng papers and other requirements. Tapos, umaga na ulit.

PAULIT-ULIT.

If only i can do workouts na ulit.

Sick of This

i'm sick and tired of all these games. These games you try to feed me but it feels the same.
- Queen Paranoia, Slapshock

I'm sick. Not because of whatever but because of a fever. Grabe ang lamig, nakakahina ng immune system. From December 28 till now, may sipon pa rin ako. Mawawala, tapos bumabalik pa rin.

What about this sickness?

Nakaka bad trip. Nakakapanghina, nakakapanlambot, nakaka bobo, nakaka walang gana. Tamad na nga ako, natritriple pa dahil sa sipon ko. Gusto kong umabsent pero hindi ko naman magawa. Kung gagawin ko kasi yun, mas mahirap for me.

What made this feeling worse is that i feel like... (emo) parang wala akong mahingian ng help. I want to rest but i can't. I need help, but i don't know to whom i should ask or what kind of help do i really need. Gulo.

175 Case Digest
PI 100 Reading of report
198 Draft
ABAM
Angkan

It makes me feel a little relieved whenever I list down my "deliverables" - responsibilities, ok.

I want to graduate now!

Perhaps tomorrow, or next month, basta sooner.

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Naisip ko bigla how fotunate i am to have something to look forward to. Graduation. In a few weeks, graduate na ako. Apart from this, i am also looking forward to having my own money - working in a prestigious company. But after graduation and after being hired as a management trainee, what else could i look forward to?

Scary.

Welcoming Acads Back

It's the 9th day of the first month of the year, already 5 days since the long vacey, and still, i don't want to work.

Nakakatamad pa bumalik sa school. Or better yet, tamad pa rin pala ako. Wala akong gustong gawin kundi matulog lang. Ang sarap tumunganga lang at mag-isip sa kawalan. I miss reminiscing my past - my promdi past. I miss innocence, kabaduyan, kaguluhan with my fellow promdi, and the serenity of the province.

Ewan ko pero this is the first time that i felt so attached to my homeland. It feels like every day here in the city is new, as if i haven't been here for a long time. Naninibago ako - that's it. Tagal ko inisip yung term.

Ang dami kong workload but i feel so lazy to do any of these. Siguro dahil matagal pa naman deadline. Yung system ko kasi, epal, kapag matagal pa ang deadline unproductive. Kapag in a few hours na lang deadline na, saka nagmamagaling.

By this time, i should be doing my paper in 177, assignment in 106, reading Junta al Pasig of Rizal pero ano? Tinatamad ako!

Grabe.

Pano kaya ako yayaman nito? Eh ang tamad tamad ko. Tapos feeling ko hindi na ako masyado competitive.

Teka.

(after 2 minutes)

Inisip ko talaga kung paano ako yayaman. Haha. And i realized na kaya pala ako tinatamad dahil inaantok ako. Masyadong mabigat ulo ko at the moment. Actually ngayong week na ito. Actually ever since. Haha. Pero minsan kasi sobrang inspired ko eh. May mga araw na sobrang sipag ko, organized (by the way, meron na akong planner at file accordion, haha), at sobrang inspired. Pero kahit na ganun, mas marami pa rin yung tamad ako. OK. Humanda kayo sa akin, I WILL BE RICH! I will. You will all look up to me. Soon. Sasali ako sa game knb?.

Potalech. Harsh word na naman. Baka maiskandalo na naman si Mam Gamo sa words ko o kaya isumbong na ako ni Caloy sa Mom nya for being obscene.

WALANG KWENTA tong post ko. Wala talaga ako sa mood. Sana bumalik na mood ko. Hindi na ako productive eh. Patapon na naman ako. Shet.

Friday Solitude

Solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation, i.e. lack of contact with people or love. It may stem from bad relationships, deliberate choice, contagious disease, disfiguring features, repulsive personal habits, mental illness, or circumstances of employment or situation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solitude

I am alone, Friday night.

Solitude seems to love me so much that it doesn't want to leave me for the time being. Friday night, clubbing nights, enjoy nights - to me, it's an empty night.

Parang sira ulo. Kanina, gusto kong mag-isa. Ayoko muna ng maraming tao at ayokong makipag-usap sa iba. Sobra ang antok ko kaya pinili ko na lang ang maging mag-isa sa kwarto - iniwan ko lahat ng tao sa labas ng sarili ko. Ayoko ng BA friends, ayoko muna kay Q, ayoko sa lahat.

Pero bakit ngayon, MAG-ISA PA RIN AKO?

Ang labo. I chose to be alone but it seemed that i don't have a choice but to be alone. Or better yet, did i have a choice in the first place? Can i not avoid this? Labo.

Got a couple of things to do. Read Blue Ocean Strategy, fix my clothes, heal myself (yuck), and a lot more.

Masama lang siguro ang gising ko.

I am not as especial as i thought i were.

Thanks God. Thanks solitude. I should learn to love you now.

Narcissistic Me

Since nasira ang TV ko, nawala na motivation kong mag-aral. Nagupload na lang ako ng grad pics. Mas maayos tingnan yung edited. Kaso yung print copy lang ang edited.

FORMAL

TOGA

SABLAY

JARAN..CREATIVE

TV ko... Magawa ka na... Last 2 episodes na lang ng Survivor Philippines...

Lapit ko nang grumaduate!

Bored to Death

Bored ako.

Walang magawa.

Better yet, di ko magawa

ang gusto ko. Nakakainis naman.

Dapat natulog na lang ako ng maaga.

START of the LAST semester

Now i am down to my last semester.

And i don't know what to feel.

Few months from now, i will start looking for a job.

Then i would start being totally independent.

I'm afraid. Afraid that no job will be suited for me.

I'm excited. Excited about corporate's life.

I'm lost. I dunno exactly where to go.

The Coldness of the Night

2:38 am September 18, 2008

Nalulungkot ako. Ang daming nangyayari ngayon sa buhay ko na parang ang bilis na nagsimula at natapos. Ni hindi ko man lang nalasap yung sarap o sakit na binigay nun sa buhay ko.

Nalulungkot ako. Hindi ako masaya. (Malamang, adik ka ba?)

Wag mo na akong awayin ng walang dahilan. Please wag mo nang painitin ang ulo ko kapag pinipilit kong maging good mood sayo. Wag ka na mang-away. Mag-adjust naman tayo.

Wag nyo akong iwan mag-isa. Bukod sa dilim, takot din akong maiwang mag-isa.

Ganun talaga ang buhay, i think. Wow biglang naging conio. Bahala na bukas. Matatapos din to. Magsesembreak na. Makakapagrelax na ulit ako. Makakausap ko na ulit ang sarili ko at malamang, magiging maganda na itong blog ko.

Wag mo akong awayin ng walang dahilan. O kung hindi man, sabihin mo kung ano ang ikinagagalit mo. Ayoko manghula. Tanga ako lalo na sa pag-iisip kung anong masama ang ginawa ko. Please naman. Wag mo namang pag sunod sunurin ang init ng ulo ko.

Bright Idea!

Kailangan ko ng isang napakagandang idea kung paano ibebenta ang wellness tourism! Ang bobo ko naman talaga oo.

Ikaw ba meron? Pashare naman!

By the way, yung mga matalino lang kausap ko.