Tired

Please welcome me back.

I've been busy for a while. Actually, i am feeling very busy for quite some time, probably since time immemorial.

Before writing this post, i was thinking of something profound to share with you. But as you might see, I failed. I am too lazy to think of something worthy of sharing with you my dear intellectuals.

American Idol is distracting me. Haha.

SO, yesterday, i was with my Yabang Pinoy friends. For the benefit of everyone, Yabang Pinoy (Filipino arrogance, or more like, pride) is an advocacy campaign aiming to boost each Filipinos pride especially now that some think that they have lost their national identity. Someone from this organization had to shoot for her thesis last night about Filipino identity. She's a Filipina, who spent her formative years in Malaysia, and is now experiencing identity crisis. To her, she is a Filipina. But she can't feel nor think nor consider herself Filipina.

We (Tim, Weng, Emm, and I) were there to share our thoughts about national identity. It was more on sharing our personal experiences and thoughts on being Filipino - from the most obvious and unique traits to the things we Filipinos are proud of. The experience turned out really fun although it ended at around 12am already. It opened a whole new perspective for me. It made me feel more proud to be a Filipino.

For me, our problem lies only on our notion of regionalism. Due to our distinct archipelago, most Filipinos are divided into different subcultures united by the province where each lives. Like me, for instance, I tend to be more inclined to being a Caviteno, with minimal inclination on being a Filipino. The same applies to our fellow countrymen (i.e. Bicolano, Bisaya, Ilocano). To me, that is our problem. Most of us do not feel that unifying identity that each of us have - we are Filipino.

Filipino for me is something no one chose nor something any of us can avoid. This is us. We are Filipino. No matter where we go, no matter what we do, whether we like it or not, as long as we are here in the Philippines, we are Filipinos.

Now going back to my not-so-serious post, I feel that i am not in my most favorable mood right now. I don't like my performance, i feel that i am lacking on a number of things, and i am just not-so-liking whatever i am doing right now.

I have been trying to do my best in terms of academic requirements for the last 7 semesters. I've been trying to graduate with honors. But what am i doing now?

I always feel sleepy. I am always lazy. And i am always not in the mood to work. Sleeping and slouching have been my favorite hobbies. Yet, come midnight, i can't sleep. WHAT?

I dont know what's my problem. I want to graduate with honors but i dont feel the motivation to do so. Help.

Tomorrow, I'll be jogging in UP. Haha.