Book 3 and TOP TWENTY

When i was 10 years old, tinawag ko ang buhay ko na Book 2. Naaalala ko pa na na-inspire ako that time sa show ni Claudine na Mula sa Puso Book 2.

Truly, everything that happened after my tenth birthday was too unpredictable. A lot has changed, some things i can't really control. During that time, i had some inner struggles that made me think that I am more mature then, even more to kids of my age.

From then, i decided to name every 10 years of my life into a series of Books (parang Volume 1, etc...)

Soon, i will be opening Book 3 of my life. Sounds super exciting. I wonder what events will happen on this third book. Anyway, that's for me to find out.

About 2 weeks ago, i decided to make a list of my Top Twenty, Twenty days before my birthday. But as you can see, i failed for a day. I've been too engrossed on animated movies and american TV series in the last few days.

Anyway, i am now posting my first TOP TWENTY.

TOP TWENTY: ASPIRATIONS

20. I want to enroll in a gym and have a personal trainor.

19. Be a Magna Cum Laude. Sadly, i just can't. Cum loudly na lang.

18. Have a trophy partner. Don't get me wrong. Who wouldn't want a partner na gustong makapartner ng lahat ng tao?

17. Be the Mayor of Indang, Cavite.

16. Work in P&G or Unilever. But no. Weird.

15. Dress like a model. Yung parang lahat ng tao idol yung suot ko.

14. Have a mansion sa Indang, Cavite. Yung tipong any day pwedeng mag party.

13. Go to States or any Latin America countries and have s*x with a few hot creatures.

12. Have MY OWN condo.

11. Toyota CherryQ.

10. Grand Debut celebration for me and my sister. She'll be 18 next year. I'll be 21.

9. Be a manager immediately.

8. Make love with anyone i wanted. Tipo bang hindi ko na kailangang mag-effort.

7. Be idolized/known/loved by 80% of the Philippines and 35% of the World population.

6. Be a lawyer. But i just can't. Don't want to read law books.

5. Deliver a speech in UP. Kahit Harvard University na lang.

4. Oh so long life for my parents. My sister. Me. And all the people close to my heart.

3. 5 kids. Magkakasunod.

2. Dog.

1. I dream that 60% of this list will come true.

I Hate Endings

Reasons why i hate endings:

• That's it. Nothing follows.
• I'm always left behind. I always find it difficult to move on.
• Endings are always sad. I really don't believe in happy endings.

Previous endings i hated (the ones I remember, at the least):

• The end of my OJT in SEAIR. (At least here, I've already moved on.)
• High School Grad
• a looooooot more. TMTM

Endings i hate and i fear:

• this sem
• this school year
• YOU

_________________________

I always picture our relationship as the "happy" one. A healthy one, where quarrels and arguments are the usual things. I was too confident that we, at least you, are mature enough not to end the relationship just because we fought and didn't agree on some things.

These recent events, however, are different. You've changed. I'm not sure if it's only you, but i'm certain that you changed. Gone are the days when you're the one who comforts me.

I miss those days when i always feel that you are the shelter that i have always looked for.

I admit, i might be too self-centered. Thoughts only centered around my feelings - my aches, my sufferings, myself. You might not have changed. Maybe it's just me. This too-selfish me.

I sincerely regret the things i said. I'm not sure, though, if you think that i voiced it out only because i'm mad and that i didn't really mean it, but, it's too late. It's all been said and done.

_________________________

I always had a problem on expressing my thoughts. Oftentimes, they just come out of my mouth, without even consulting what's in my head nor my heart. But it's out of the question now. IT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH. I hope, you, did not take it seriously.

_________________________

This one's the ending I (insert-superlative-adjective-for-regret) feared to happen.

i don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. i just wish that no matter what happens, neither of us go home broken. it's been 8 months. i wish we could still count, together, until 8 years.

i cant continue with my countdown to christmas and my birthday. not now...

Instructions for Life

I received this as a forwarded email message. Insightful enough to stimulate the philosophical part of my intellect.











I especially liked number 2 and 8. After all, this, i think, is what i have been needing for the longest time.

Numbers 7, 10 and 13 sound good. I wanna have these traits.

Number 10 - I wish i can do these.

Others - that would make me a totally different person. Better not to have 'em all.